Bitch Fest Tuesday!!!

Reporters in Kenya are becoming lazier by the day!! No research on stories ata kidogo, the Sunday Standard (The prefered gazeti by butchers, it’s not like it has anything worth keep it for) had a story about Nakumatt – they claimed Nakumatt was the largest chain in Sub- Saharan Africa…Standard, ever heard of Shoprite?????

NTV needs to stop being a shit hole and stop playing with the bleep thingi – Ever tried watching the very outdated season of Two and a Half men showing on NTV? They bleep it soo much – you want to pluck your pubes out!!

Can MP Johnston Muthama get a life and stop showing up at the Coro Fm studios. His kikuyu is PATHETIC!!!! And that show – I think it airs on Wednesday past 10 pm, Β needs a little intervention from the CCK…it sometimes takes a turn into ‘Tribal Avenue’

Speaking of MP’s…I heard Danson Mungatana barf that, the MP’s need a retreat. Danny, my boy just sema your news anchor mama has promised to only dish her goods in Naivasha! Wacha story mingi

I’ve talked about this before, jana on Kimathi street I was walking with my skinny jeans wearing pal and THEN!!! A gay dude walking like the g-forces are tugging on his hips!! Dude was trying to pull a ‘Miss Jay’ catwalk! And what’s worse is he was failing and is fucking UGLY!

Now one I was asked to write about, BUSTED weaves!!! Girls, please spare us the horror!!!! I come from a family with amazing hair, so weaves are foreign in my household. It makes me sad that a mama can have BLUE hair! Fucking blue!! NKT

Afro CINEMA – Citizen

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78 responses to this post.

  1. let me rant!!!! burn all skinny jeans! especially the red ones Sauti Sol have been pictured rocking in the Nairobi Star today!!!!

  2. Posted by Sarah on March 16, 2010 at 6:40 am

    Speaking of weaves, I wonder how women in Kenya can stay in a wig in this fucking Sub-Saharan heat. I wear locks and I must say I feel the heat in my hair follicles.

    Now, don’t even get me started on the blue, pink, yellow (blonde), purple, maroon weaves. Eish! yaani, it’s an eyesore. And oh! I forgot the white ones too.

    A gal pal of mine, who owns a salon, had one very nice weave on last week. I saw her jana and I almost ran off in the opposite direction. Bakuli kwa kichwa (like those combat helmets). Did I mention that she owns a salon?! I told her that thing on her head looks horrendous. Let us leave these things to the likes of Tyra and Oprah cos they have like 50 hairstylists working on their heads for 5 hours to get that picture perfect look.

    Ed Note I hear some of them have the weaves for as long as two weeks!!!

    • Posted by Smears Of Ochre on March 16, 2010 at 7:03 am

      Two weeks?!That is for the moneyed peoples, try one and a half months and have it smell like boiled feet then remove it and give it to your broke friend.Tafadhali we all cut our hair, bald is cool too!!

      ED NOTE OMY!!!! A month +!! Is it washable?

      • Posted by Anonymous on March 16, 2010 at 7:36 am

        Ofcourse its washable and recycle-able if theres such a word. if you cant maintain a perm, just plait your hair, atleast plaiting for 2weeks is reasonable.

      • Posted by Nature Lover on March 16, 2010 at 8:17 am

        And where do you get the money to plait after two weeks? Look ladies, go bald! It works for me!

  3. Posted by shy on March 16, 2010 at 7:31 am

    this was my friend’s update jana:
    ie your weave is stubbornly facing the opposite direction of a strong wind, then you know it’s time to let it go!!! ha ha ha ha…..
    my fellow ladies, do you wait for this long? damn!!

  4. Posted by Anonymous on March 16, 2010 at 7:39 am

    How credible is this classic 105 morning show if maina doesn’t do live links coz i just heard him say on radio that tomorrow will be terrific Tuesday and awarded a listener free lunch. as in seriously!!!!! Someone Explain to me how exactly that works, was the listener staff of the company ama?

    Ed Note HAHA maina amepatikana!!

  5. As a chk am opposed to weaves 1000 percent!! Its ok if u have it on for lyk 2 wiks after mayb a special event but wearing it any longa afta that shuld b illegal!!

  6. Posted by hotstepper on March 16, 2010 at 7:51 am

    Even the news Anchors have not been spared,this ogutu lady on NTV news ako na ingine that is sooo shiny it could be used for a “kiwi hung’arisha advert.nkt!

  7. Posted by omera on March 16, 2010 at 8:34 am

    kenyan Women NKTSERIOUSLY! Cmon! Go Bald who cares anymore what u wear on ur heads! Buy head gear lyk Orie Rogo manduli and cover ur “plastic fur” lyk she does! Infact 2taanza kutrend #kenyanwomengobald ati blue, green, nkt!

  8. Posted by Miss thang on March 16, 2010 at 8:52 am

    Nigga please! Whats with the double standards. Dudes are the first to criticize weaves, then when you turn around they will be the first to be oogling at the next freak strutting down the street with with a twenty inch weave. Long fake nails , in red heels. Case and point, the pic you put up jana of Julie Gichuru, you think thats her hair 100%.??.? If you run ur fingers down her head you will find some nasty ass trucks. Not only her, there are the usual suspects, the likes of Shilla Mwanigah whom ya’ll drool over! My point is, don’t say your against weaves, its BAD weaves that your against. Period

  9. Posted by fifi on March 16, 2010 at 8:54 am

    stop hating on weaves… Just leave with it…..they aint going no where soon.

  10. Posted by c.n on March 16, 2010 at 9:02 am

    I agree on the bleep on Two and a half men, they sensor and cut out so many parts they destroy the story line. NTV here is the solution, either move the show to after 10pm kids will be asleep or put another show and by another show i do not mean LA TORMENTA!
    I wish weaves were perishable goods that is all i can say!!

    • Posted by sinamon on March 16, 2010 at 10:10 am

      yeah, ntv need to up their game, remove those spanish and phillipino soaps n that knight rider programme, afadhali robocop.

  11. Posted by c.n on March 16, 2010 at 9:09 am

    i agree on the EXCESS bleep on the Two and a half men show,there is too much censoring and cutting of scenes you even spoil the story line! NTV here is the solution, you either move the show to after 10pm or replace it with another show, and by another show i DO NOT mean LA TORMENTA!!!

    I wish weaves were perishable goods! that is all i can say.

  12. Posted by hotstepper on March 16, 2010 at 9:21 am

    ED,
    I saw Tom mboya jana on CITIZEN,where did his anchormate sophie ikenye go to?

    Ed Note Sophie is on BBC Africa

  13. Posted by C on March 16, 2010 at 9:46 am

    which mama is this that mungata is chopping????????

  14. Posted by Pearl on March 16, 2010 at 10:02 am

    @ C …mwanaisha ..kwani si i thot he was married ama ndoa yake ilizambaratika?? btw didnt like Belinda’s out jana !!

  15. Posted by kritik on March 16, 2010 at 10:30 am

    interesting piece

  16. Posted by avic on March 16, 2010 at 10:37 am

    its a world of options, if you hate weaves that much just don’t look at them. If its on my head its mine!!

  17. Posted by Lentils on March 16, 2010 at 10:40 am

    MP’S wanna be paid full salary and benefits ati coz if they implement the draft constitution it could affect their term in office?!

  18. Posted by mzee1917 on March 16, 2010 at 11:03 am

    the waheshimiwa need to take their clandes to Naivasha for them to see any action between the sheets.

  19. Posted by Livewithit on March 16, 2010 at 11:18 am

    Again with the hateration on gays…seriously Pius, I’ll say it again – in denial much?

  20. Posted by mike on March 16, 2010 at 11:29 am

    hello Kamuiru again stop hating on Gays if u want just ask n u’ll be given, sawa dont be shy just ask

    • Posted by Mavi on March 16, 2010 at 11:37 am

      Mike dear, ad missed u on this page, abt u and ua gay brothers why not let pius xpress himslf???? Everyone is entitled to his/her own opinion. let him have his, like we are letting you have yours.

      • Posted by mike on March 16, 2010 at 12:04 pm

        @ shit aka MAVI oh soo u had missed me also sema lakini ….bout Kamuiri hating on Gays it saddens me when hes one of them.Dang

      • Posted by Mavi on March 16, 2010 at 12:40 pm

        Pius Ebu clarify hii stori mike ana sema ati u a gay brother, your comments always cracked me up, had missed them.

        Ed Note I’m not gay

  21. Posted by hotstepper on March 16, 2010 at 11:32 am

    Avic macho hayana pasia and some are ridiculous some chics look like a walking mop!

  22. Posted by Lentils on March 16, 2010 at 11:45 am

    To the gay gentlemen, i think pius is stating something you’ve also recognised with ‘straight’ people. People who give their sexual preference a bad name by advertising some traits in a lacklustre way. The ‘straight’ macho guy who walls around town with his chest out, excess cologne, reflector shades, staring down every girl like a steak- yet we all know his willy is miniscule. The ‘gay’ guy who wears heels and speaks in a shrill voice to be noticed. No one wants to be judged in different spheres of their life by who they sleep with so why advertise it? In both spheres we have fakes-people who pretend to be straight but are actually bi or gay and others who claim to be gay but actually have issues to resolve. Whatever their reasons for not being true to themselves are, i think it makes more sense to talk things instead of being critical. Ama?

  23. Posted by sinamon on March 16, 2010 at 1:03 pm

    pro-gays kibao hapa. i have lesbian tendencies. who wants to facilitate my coming out?

  24. Posted by mimi on March 16, 2010 at 1:14 pm

    my beef is with radio stations, namely radio Africa repeating shows!! Is it lack of content or lack of presenters??

  25. Posted by mike on March 16, 2010 at 2:32 pm

    Radio Africa Group lost it when they started Poaching from Citizen …..hapo the Curse spread

  26. Posted by true on March 16, 2010 at 3:51 pm

    dude, leave Ntv’s Linda out of this. as a matter of fact I think she does a good job…putting in mind what NTV had before in the name of news anchor. give her time, she wl be one of the best in the industry. I started watching Ntv again because of her…she has the screen presence knows what she is doing.
    its not fair to bitch about her…..what about all the other anchors with long weaves that we all know aint theirs. Nkt

  27. Posted by Miss Thang on March 16, 2010 at 5:56 pm

    Lol! This is sad, Linda stop commenting about yourself. Its very very sad to say the least. And newsflash, no one is watching NTV news anymore honey, all eyes are on the glitzy glamarous CITIZEN!!
    Anyway, back to you Linda Oguttu, its a shame that you are new and already having bad publicity. Dont get me wrong sister,i am 100% pro GOOD weaves. Heck if you can pull an Oprah or Tyra look , halleluja to you.
    FOR NOW SWEETHEART, YOU NEED TO DITCH THAT KIWI POLISHED, HELMET LOOKING THING ON YOUR HEAD.!.!.! Its an embarrasment to the anchoring fraternity! And if you persist to ignore people, its your loss baby. You shall be replaced as easily as the ones before you.
    Note no. 2 , could you plz wear more makeup, maybe some blush, more eyeliner and lose that maroon lipstick. It ages you. Go for lighter shades such as pink.
    Ps: just so you know i am a makeup artist hahaha Pius, i love the way ur blog has turned into an advise column

    • Posted by hotstepper on March 17, 2010 at 6:31 am

      Well said miss thang,Linda i must have seen you having it polished at that Professional shoe shineon Moi avenue between stanchart and Archives.And the way you read news in monotone kama umelazimishwa nkt!

    • Posted by Unseen on March 17, 2010 at 6:32 am

      Did I mention to anybody that I love this Miss Thang! I like your style msichana. Can I have your personal Email?

      Kamuiru, in your new look, please allow users to share private mesages!

  28. Posted by Fresh apple on March 16, 2010 at 6:05 pm

    must say i loooooooooove bitch tuesday..but yeye has chauvinistic tendencies always pointing out the wrongs by the nairobi girl. dudes if u hate weaves then avoid chicks who screw them on their heads..

    on the mungatana issue i heard he moved on from mwanaisha and is now doing some beauty queen..
    am glad this site has tolerant people coz seriously whatever people do between their sheets is nobodys bizness..i got a gay friend and love him to bits coz was a fashion disaster before i met him..

    @sinamon i could hook u up with my lesbo friend..but be careful i am told once u tread on those waters its bye bye to dicky cock!
    @all lentils’ haters..give the gal a break..she has the most sense here..

    • Posted by Seizure on March 17, 2010 at 6:34 am

      Fresh Apple, I am a beautiful girl with nice tities & hippies and looking to hook up with cute girl for romantic episodes… You available?

  29. Posted by Lesbiantendencies on March 16, 2010 at 6:29 pm

    I must say,i love the gay people on this wall….Mike especially..i hope you are all out(the heels wearing makeup kind) and if not,a drag queen by night…. Sinamon come here sugar!! I can take you to places you aint never been before….i can already taste you.- PS i hope you shave… It tastes better.

  30. Posted by mjuaji on March 17, 2010 at 4:41 am

    why are we censoring we all know Mungatana is doing Jigger girl

    • Posted by Seizure on March 17, 2010 at 7:01 am

      Hehehe! The jigger girl is preaty. Only she can do better and get her own man

      • Posted by xoxo on March 17, 2010 at 10:33 am

        what happened to jigger girl and drew, the dj????don’t tell me he was ditched for a married guy….

  31. Posted by GossipGirl on March 17, 2010 at 5:05 am

    First off..i’m not a fan of weaves, at all, but i can’t stand the hypocrisy of dudes who’ll bitch abt em till they’re blue in the face..then go home and bang their well-weaved women. If men refused to touch a woman wearing that crap on their heads, then weaves would quickly go out of style.
    Second..either there’s a new censorship policy from the CCK, or KTN and NTV suddenly decided that their core audience has an average age of 6. NTV is the worst. Censoring kissing, the words sex and bastard, while continuing to run shows where these things happen ALOT. Do your obviously overworked producers a favor then..air the Telly Tubbies 24/7 then..nothing to censor there. Pu.

  32. Posted by Fresh apple on March 17, 2010 at 9:53 am

    woow lots of lesbians here…..@seizure got great titties too but i prefer to swing the other way..but as i said could hook u up with a cute galfriend!

    this jigger gal has been around the block quite a bit..wah! whatever happened to the mbaba she was screwing..the one who took her to west africa?..and poor dru!

    • Posted by Seizure on March 17, 2010 at 12:04 pm

      How do we link up with your cute girlfriend?

      Jigger girl denied all claims and bad mouthed all of us bloggers of hating on her! She is going strong with Dru. Read True Love

      • Posted by Fresh apple on March 17, 2010 at 6:31 pm

        yeye is supposed to give us a forum for sending private info in the new site..so chill gal..ur wish wil soon be fulfilled..

      • Posted by Miss Thang on March 17, 2010 at 6:32 pm

        Seizure get your facts straight. Dru is dating some other ragged looking pointy chic called Debie.

      • Posted by Miss Thang on March 17, 2010 at 6:43 pm

        @ Fresh, sasa if we have private messaging option, doesnt that beat the whole purpose of the blog??? That of PUBLICLY (if theres such a word) airing your views and opinions. Even if it means vybing each other πŸ˜‰

  33. Posted by Miss Thang on March 17, 2010 at 2:33 pm

    Just telling it like it is.
    @Unseen niaje media madness has become a social networking site :). Hehe. Holla at your gal!

  34. Posted by Godfrey on March 17, 2010 at 3:11 pm

    Am sure some of yu claiming to be lesbians are actually men in disguise!!!

  35. Posted by mwaxxist on March 18, 2010 at 6:12 pm

    Mungatana…that sly model poker (mp). Weaves suck buffalo balls…period!
    @miss thang, ur right. U private message advocating tweeps shld go 2 FB, twitter, hell, theres e.mail. This blog is for raw uncensored info. Dont kill it.

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